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What constitutes being a virgin?

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Virginity

Yes… I’m taking it there. I know some people’s blood is already hot, but I’ll go ahead and jump into it. I was having a discussion with a friend over this past weekend about who is a virgin, and what constitutes being a virgin (Of course she started her thread on Naija Ryders…lol.) These days it seems like I meet a good number of people that say they are virgins but have done everything else under the sun – oral, anal, nasal, ear, eye sef…lol… you get my point. So if someone has done all that, but hasn’t had vaginal sex, are they still considered a virgin? Is virginity only about vaginal intercourse? Sometimes it gives the other partner a sense that his/her significant other is still pure and what not, meanwhile …….

There are even the born-again virgins, and those that reconstruct the hymen to it’s original form. That one is another topic altogether.

The dictionary puts the definition of a virgin as “a person who has never had sexual intercourse.” So what is considered sexual intercourse? Is it solely vaginal? Granted there are some true virgins out there so I’m not trying to say that everyone that claims to be a virgin is an inner experienced freak, but a good number of “virgins” don do pass those that are “sexually active.” With all that experience under the belt, can those virgins still be considered virgins?

Me personally, na the “virgins” I dey fear pass, cos from the little experience I have, nah them do pass… just my view though. Thoughts? Comments? Vents?… Drop it. I’d love to hear what people have to say.

Small disclaimer: This is not about anyone in particular. I know a good number of “virgins” and I don’t want anyone beefing me or vexing for me abeg. If you too vex, then that’s your problem.


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Software Engineer, Web Developer, Promoter, Blogger, and pretty much a jack of all trades and master of 2. Writes a variety of topics, ranging from Social Issues in Nigeria, to Relationships, and even Random Rantings (both serious and humorous)... follow me on twitter

Comments

Comments
  • Sanka April 30, 2009 at 6:00 am

    You for take style tell us say you dey find virgin to marry…all these ranting no cover up bro! But yea based on your dictionary definition, once you don do any of the deeds you listed above including the eye & ear (Nna bros you be hyper freak oh), you can't technically qualify as a virgin. The born-again virgins are just confused people, if you are not too proud of your record, keep it on the low rather than making it more complicated for your conscience & psyche to handle! The surgically enhanced virgins are jst pathetic…why would you go thru all that just to have it broken again?

    • Aribaba May 1, 2009 at 5:37 am

      LOL… Sanka abeg ooo.. I don't want to marry a virgin. Don't need all that breaking in stress on my head. I'm just confused as to what is considered virginity these days. The born-again virgin is just another issue… If I talk about that one then the chances of marrying a niaja babe will be slim…lol. I already have enough babes that don't like me.

  • not a virgin April 30, 2009 at 6:43 am

    i totally agree. now adays the so called virgins are worse than us "wey our thing don tear".. infact they are the freaks ie (the one that will let a man tear her nyashe hole all in the name of been a virgin, the ones that swallow cum or the ones that lie "he just put it in the surface and pulled out" bullshit).

    my advice to women ,u dont have to lie bout been a virgin.

    virginity na too much work for men .. so please embrace ur experience. makes the sex sweeter trust me

  • Nigerian Fetish April 30, 2009 at 7:53 am

    Everyone has a different opinion about the true definition of virginity.

    Some people claim that being a virgin means that the woman has not been penetrated with a penis..

    And some other people claim that a virgin is a woman who hasn't had oral, anal, or vaginal sex..

    So it's all depending on how the person labels it..

    awww you be on naijaryders? I haven't been there in a long while..

    I'm Uju4eva on there!

  • VERBZZ April 30, 2009 at 11:23 am

    okay ma dude!!! we at this again??? look i feel bad that ur only talking about this partaining to women men… me i'ma a man virgin oh!!! a 'margine' so to speak!!!! and don't mind all these chicks that don't know the whole i dea is to sustain morality and not some social nonsensical crap that peeps think today…. if u suck and jerk and battery up etc trust me!!! u might as well fuck the devil's fork cause u aint holding ish down or back!!! in fact according to the bible the thought alone gan is already enof to disvirgin u from a spiritual point of view… so get out there and spread ur legs!!! i mean spread the news….

  • Sanka May 1, 2009 at 6:54 am

    Lol…Aribaba, u dey fear? Nah bro…nothing do, one woman’s poison will be another woman’s meat & trust me, there are so many damn fishes in the water so that one no be case at all. “Not a virgin” abeg tell them, all this BS pretence don too much. Oga “Nigeria Fetish” penetration is penetration, whether you penetrate with hand, leg, penis, vibrator etc, the bottom-line remains that something has gone in there, so all these “technicalities” dnt really hold water. Mr. Verbzz…did they expel you from a seminary or sumthin?

  • Otutupoyoyo May 1, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    LMAO..LMAO…oh gush these comments…How do people still remain virgins in this day and age; Please i need tips….right now m working on my "reVirginity"

  • GamGam May 3, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Oh will you people just shut-up,

    Your comments border seriously on disrespect

    especially for yourselves.

    Aribaba,

    What concerns you if someone says they are virgin and they are not, is it that they lied or that they are not, or you are befuddled about the definition.

    Virginity has never been so much about the physical than it is about the heart

    Ofcurse you will get your dictionary definitions and all that.

    Biblical, Virginity was used to describe innocence,comeliness,goodness and "fit for marriage"

    Anyways, the kinds of girls you meet tells us the kind of person you are kpa kpa.

    Which true "virgin" sef would want to marry you, who likes mileage..chei

  • TheDoublePrince May 4, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    my own definition of a female virgin is a lady that hasnt had virginal intercourse. if she has been there done that as far as other forms of intercourse. she is probally Just aware or experimenting her sexuality. Virgins Got needs too they are not log of woods without sexual Urges. Aribaba You know it is very difficult to be a virgin in this day and time. Everything is sexual nowadays from dressing to tv commercials to even ordinary dancing.

  • frin May 4, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    I'm a female virgin by choice… If you have had oral or anal that means you are NOT a virgin. What makes someone a virgin is when they haven't had ANY sexual intercourse with another person Or themselves[you would be surprised the # of ppls that use toys and claim to still be a virgin]. But thats just my view I don't know why people make being a virgin a bigger deal than it really is. Either you are or you not.

    • Oludascribe May 5, 2009 at 2:18 am

      I totally agree with frin. The "I do stuff , but i don't go all the way", is like the old saying "I smoke but i don't inhale".

      Nincompoppy isn't it?

      People that fritter around with everything else but coitus it's self(oral, and other crevices),and say it's not sex, are probably more deceptive about other things than those that admit they are bumping and grinding.

      A virgin, male or female , is someone that stays clear from ALL sexual, and sexually arousing activities. Once you begin touching what you don't have . Guess what!!!! , That's sexual activity.

  • naijabeauty May 4, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    virgins have no open leg for man! ah ah so wat is the problem! if u never let prick enter inside ya to to then no wa hala u be virgin! when prick come enter then ya wa don gas!!!!

  • Ose May 4, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    If the hymen ain't broken…….don't matter what she's being doing, she's still a virgin.

  • NaijanNinjaz May 5, 2009 at 1:13 am

    Penetration alone does not only qualify as sex.The fact that they do everything else BUT sex, in the name of virginity should be scary, that is the height of cunning. Those that do ALL the experimenting are the real FREAKS,

    It's either no sexual activity or the whole nine yards of wham bam.

    You can't tell God , i/he tore her/my ass up, but , i/he didn't get b/w her/my tighs. Or sucked but he didn't penetrate. You are either COMPLETELLY chaster or you are not. There's no two ways about it

    Frankly if i really had to choose, b/w, the one that knows she went all the way, rather than the manipulative one of i did everything but… would be the choice.

    But ultimately i'd want someone that has waited like i have, not someone that would be comparing me to her previous escapades

    Who knows after you marry her, "everything but…" can be her excuse to justify messing around outside because no penetration takes place

  • FranklySpeaking May 5, 2009 at 2:02 am

    If her popsi walked in the middle of "everything but" do u really think he's gonna care there no penetration?

    Do you think a paparazzi head line would distinguish?

    Sexual activity is sexual activity, and getting your groove on is not only down putting his beef in her taco. Telling one's self that there is a difference ,shows that denial is more than just a river in Egypt.

  • Mounah May 5, 2009 at 2:05 am

    am turning 20 n was once a virgin…a virgin is not suppose to have any sexual intercourse…a virgin may kiss, but if someone have had sex, it does not matter where, how, or they r not a VIRGIN…the dictionary says, a virgin is someone who has never/not had sex…, it did not say kiss…so, i guess the only thing a virgin is supposed to do n still be called a virgin is KISS…when i lost my virginity my bf didn't have to ask me, bcuz i didn't even knew how to kiss, not to mention how to open my legs…

  • hot stuff May 14, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Virginity is played out..so for those sistas who are or are pretending to be virgins for the name of 'Good girl'.. a beg change ur style…Being a virgin was a cool thing for men during our grand father and father's days, but a turn off for most men today… If you don't believe me, ask 10 male friends you have. I am not criticizing anyone for holding onto their stuff, but i am just pointing out the truth. This is generation X abi Y and our parents are from the generation of the baby boomers or so ..So trends have changed…the truth is today's boys don't have enough patience to go through all that mess… But if you are really a virgin for some religious reasons other than the 'Good girl' bullshit..then YOU are good.

    Brothers pls be honest with ur virgin chics too…don't tell them you are glad they are virgins when u are really worried about the task of breaking through.. keep it real…

    So back to the topic…a virgin is a girl that knows NO man and that includes no kissing, or touching! Virginity means u have not been touched sexually by a man..and that includes no arousals…no tingly feeling…no alternatives..so everything should be new to you on your first day…period.

    I hope this makes sense.

    • Sanka May 22, 2009 at 6:40 am

      This guy…e be like say you don shayo? I don't know about you oh but abeg, brother man wants to be #1 on this food oh! I no dey like make person or even worse make people chop then remain for me!

    • B!. February 21, 2011 at 6:53 pm

      No it doesn't. In that case, children who have kissed each other on the lips are not virgins. Yes, children do kiss each other.

  • GamGam May 22, 2009 at 4:29 am

    Virgins should marry Virgins, Experienced, the Experienced. shikena,

    now where do i find virgin dudes, guahahaha

    • Aribaba May 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm

      LOL… do virgin dudes still exist?… maybe u can try 18 and below…lol

      • tobiloba December 13, 2011 at 11:11 pm

        even 18 and below are no longer virgins, i have been having sex since i was 8 years of age.

  • da1stlady June 1, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    lmao… you guys crack me up! sanka and gam gam killed it lol!

  • Oluwafemi June 9, 2009 at 4:33 am

    I think we are all human so in as much they haven't experienced the real thing, they can still be recognised as a virgin without sex!

  • kicksknowledge October 12, 2010 at 10:53 am

    girls these days don't get it.they all want the same rights as men do. even if those rights are detrimental to the "feminine" image.

    what am trying to say is, there is this, there's a clear double standard to this virginity and sex thing. and you just have to deal with it and look on the good side of sacred pride and not to feel cheated on by society. you may already know this but well here goes..

    the more girls a man can have sex with the more of "the man" he is and the more men a girl has had sex with the more of "a whore" the girl is. take it or leave it, learn or throw away but it is a true fact in our society today…one love

  • Anony February 23, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    If there is no penetrative sex,then the lady is still avirgin.

  • Aratunhora Eko October 20, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    A virgin is one who has neva had intercourse. Ie to say, whether u engage in anal, oral, so long as der’s no virginal sex, then u’re stil a virin

  • Otaj July 20, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    Can we just less our headache about virgins or no virgins. In jet age of our time you can hardly see any teenage male or female has not experience sex either directly or indirectly. Most of these ladies do hid under the fact that their vagina is still closed up with a nylon skin but they are professional in blow jobs and other sex related skills. the so called male virgins are the most active masturbator and pornographic viewers. if you still call yourself a virgin you must be a pretender

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