The Look of Disgust….lol
“To ba b’oni sakara pade | Pasan to ma fi na e oje l’o nje | Kini won se npe o | Shakara oloje ni”. Those are the lyrics to one of my favorite Fela songs “Shakara Oloje.” Of course I’d like that song seeing that I dey feel where Fela dey come from… esp the verse about the girl doing Shakara. What is shakara some might ask? Well shakara is the act of faking the deal. Acting like you don’t want when you actually do. Pretty much fronting, as our yankee people would say. These days it’s commonly used in the chasing phase of a relationships… esp with Naija babes. Ok… enough definition… Make I enter the main thing.
Naija babes and shakara. Na wa ooo. Sometimes it’s as if dem born Naija babes, come give them “Shakara” as middle name. It’s like their standard Modus Operandi(M.O.). Except if they see Dbanj, Denzel, or someone like that, then all that flies out of the window. But for the masses like us(guys), we have to put up with the Shakara to get anywhere with a naija babe.
To my guys, have you ever tried to approach to naija babe, and she sizes you from head to toe, squeezes her face, looks at you in disgust, and then replies “Yes, Can I help you?”… Kai!! Liver failure sets in immediately… Wetin man fit do after that kind of response? It’s like all the air just escaped from your lungs. At this point, any reasonable guy would know that the babe doesn’t like him or is not feeling his P, so he’ll respect himself, say what he has to say, and try to forget that ever happened… until her friend tells you that she’s actually feeling you – “you know now… babes have to form small.”
Ok… no wahala… let’s try again. This time you decide to call her (as recommended by the friend). You’re lucky if you’re able to squeeze 2 mins of conversation from the babe. She’s even carrying on another conversation with her friend in the background and all your questions are answered with one word answers. “So What’s up now? How are you?” Response - ”Fine”….”What do you do?” – “Work”… “So the wedding was great yesterday, right?” – “Yes.” You might even try to make her give you more than one word answer so you ask “So tell me about yourself?” Response -”I don’t know… What do you want to know?” … and we’re back to square one. At this point, boys don begin vex small… What’s the babe feeling like sef? You report back to her friend, and tell her that the babe shakara too much abeg. Of course her friend convinces you one more time… “The babe is feeling you man… she was just telling me about you yesterday sef. She’s just nervous that’s why she’s acting like that.”
Toh`.. no yawa. One last try. You hit the babe up again, and immediately ask her out on a date. After she’s told you how busy she is on saturday afternoon, friday night, thursday night, and saturday night, you’re finally able to get a sunday evening appointment. You go out on the date, and the babe is forming the whole time… texting someone every 10 mins, giving you the standard one word answers, not laughing at your “dry” jokes that all other babes laugh at… I mean the babe even ordered one expensive meal and only ate 2 spoons… Chei!!. Which kind forming be this one now? Nothing seems to be going well. At this point, you’re convinced beyond all reasonable doubt that the babe not only is not feeling you, but actually finds you quite disgusting for some reason. You vex for her friend for playing you, and lying to you, delete the girl’s number and continue about your life. That one don end… or has it?
One random day about 4 days later, your phone rings, and you look at the phone. The babe is actually calling you… “Ah ah… maybe it’s a mistake, or maybe she’s calling to ask for a favor.” When you answer the phone, the babe is actually talking and creating a conversation, and tells you that forgot about her abi… some even go as far as asking you out on a date sef. Na wa o. At this point, omo boyz are either not interested anymore, or they jump on the opportunity and it’s smooth sailing from then on out.
So my question to Naija babes is: Why all the shakara? It makes it difficult for guys to differentiate if the babe is fronting or she really doesn’t like us. Awon boyz… which one be your limit? I know for me after the first phone conversation, I’ll rake for the babe’s friend and end it there. Me I don’t like insult abeg. Let’s hear it… Babes, Guys, what’s your take on Shakara?
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Sha! I know Naija babes are brought up with this whole shakara notion, that if you don't do shakara then you're cheap. And some Naija guys believe that if the girl is nice to him then she is cheap as well. About doing shakara to know if a guy really likes you… well if he's into the chase he'll chase you more so he can get you and when he gets you, then that can be the end of the relationship, because that was his only driving force – this happens to girls too, once the mystery is gone, if that was all there was then there's nothing left.
The other problem with shakara is you never get to really know the guy and he never gets to really know you. But then because shakara takes effort (and it does because instead of having a normal conversation and moving on – you form levels and stay awake with your scheme to draw him in and other ish), you become emotionally invested in someone you don't know,. While if you just opened up, and got to know him, he'll shine or flop and then you can decide.
There's no need to do shakara, just be nice, talk to the guy, get to know him, and you don't have to get into a relationship with him, you might become friends and stay friends. Either way less stress for both ppl.
The thing about Shakara, if i should say, is actually a Nigerian problem and not just the girls. They are in a position to use "formalin" more than the guys and that's why it is very noticeable.
Nigerians are the only people i know (maybe i have not gone round enough) that would come across their fellow nationals outside the shores of the country and size themselves up as if in competition and actually ignore them or if they are the nice ones , they might just acknowledge them with a nod of the head, some eye contact, thumbs up, a casual wave, just something to acknowledge the presence of their compatriot and i heard of one sometime ago that dismissed the notion his friend brought up about saying hello to "fellow countryman" with "Abegi, no be the same Muritala Muhammed Airport we comot from".
However that is not to say that is what you get all the time, but in my opinion it is the general disposition of Nigerians to Nigerians.
Forming, Shakara, Buga, call it what you may is an integral part of the Nigerian social physiological make-up if i can say that, and it is quite unfortunate.
Ladies, you ain't getting off that easy anyway because, "una too form sef, slow down". Sometimes, it is very unnecessary and tends to give off the impression of a complex. Feeling important when you shouldn't even when you know you want it. That's why i like Wande Coal's Mushin2Mo'hits track 1 (I know you like)
Then again, we the dudes make them feel too important. Take a look around you guys from today wherever you are, you will notice that females are always more than the males. Reminds me of that familiar age long cliche, too many fish in the river.
I rest my case.
abeg,walahi talahi bros u hit d nail 4 im head naija galz 2form sef even d one's wey neva chop 3 square meal sef go dey form mesef 4rm dat ist squeezin of face na him i dey get realllllllllllly pisseeeeeeed offfffffffffff.
Well…the part about trying to free the girl and four days later, she's calling, that's sooooo true. Thing is, as soon as a girl begins to form home video or give me drama, omo i deyu discharge ni o. No time to check time. But seriously, it's crazy the way Naija girls form that is why I never try to hang out with them. Even the wugly (Wowo + Ugly) ones sef go dey form.
These ladies have got to stop the drama, i tell you.
true, some babes do cause drama, but you guys are experts in causing drama AND denying that you are dramatic.
true that deebs…nicely put.
Well! Shakara no be only gals stuff, in fact guys do am pass gals. Just that it is noticeable in Gals more than guys……small thing like this na shakara go follow, i dey do am wella, so i really knw hw it is. But atimes we need this shakara so much in order for you guys out here not to take us for granted, thinking we are all over you bcos u get Ego, Swag or something
Different strokes for different folks. I have a friend who feels he can't go out with a girl who doesn't do shakara for him. I, on the other hand, hate shakara like the plague. I don't like playing games and if you look at me with disgust and insult me I will speak to my legs and look elsewhere. As if women weren't already difficult enough to read.