I will probably Hurt a lot of feelings by writing this Note…So please if you are sensitive, THEN “STOP HERE”, cause I dont care about feelings..JUST FACTS
I have had a few interesting conversation with a lot of Nigerian females ages
21 to 27 and I have sensed something very interesting
You all believe that coming to America gives you the Right to “STOP COOKING”…YEAH, I SAID IT..
Look, its very simple your mums cooked all the food when you grew up, your mums still do the cooking..I think every female needs to know how to cook, or at lease be willing to learn How to Cook, or else its a big shame…
Any female who believes that it is not their duty to cook is not ready for marriage….Its very simple, NO Nigerian man will marry a woman that feels it is a Man’s responsibility to cook…
The females with this “NEW AGE” point of view blame it on the fact that women nowadays have to work….WOW….REALLY…..DID YOUR MUMS NOT WORK BACK IN THE DAY
I am speaking for every responsible man and not the lazy ones who wants their wives to do everything…I think for a marriage to last there has to be compromises, there are thing a man must do in his house Hold because we do not have maids in America, BUT COOKING IS NOT ONE OF THEM..
Lets think about this, any man that senses this new found Nigeria female belief in his girl will probably not marry her.
When guests come to your house, imagine the MAN, cooking and bringing out food from the kitchen to serve the guests…WOW…NOW that would be funny…
Your friends and your friends wives will laugh at you.
I personally will laugh at any friend of mine that I find does the cooking for his wife…
Like the saying goes, IF IT AINT BROKE, WHY FIX IT…THE SYSTEM WORKS, MEN should not tolerate their wives expecting them to do the cooking..
HOW MANY COOK BOOKS ARE BASED AROUND MEN IN THE KITCHEN.
Plus what kind of message are you sending your kids, when they know your wife wears the pants in the house….
Thats how it starts, cooking.. Next thing you know you as a man become the Woman.
I AM A GUY AND I KNOW HOW TO COOK, that does not mean that i will be found in the kitchen cooking for my wife… I am not trying to sound like a Sexist…
I can cook for her if she is sick, just gave birth or on special occasions, but to believe it will be an every day thing….PLEASE….THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN
Discussions
I am not going to go into the topic of Nigerian WOMEN who are brought to America, then end up leaving the Men and Taking Half of their Net Worth….thats for another DAY…
Article By Ngozi Oleleh
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Your argument sounds emotional and not well thought out. I am sorry for whoever you eventually get married to.
Yeah, Ronke…I'm inclined to agree with you…
I'm not married…yet…but, I work…sometimes up to 60hrs a week…after a long day at work…traffic…black berry…I dont want to see the kitchen…so…if you do not have my type of schedule and you get home first…you cant feed the kids if we have any? You cant cook me a meal and rub my feet?
You need to be a little more agreeable for real…otherwise…sorry for whoever ends up with you…
You are an Idiot… Marry ur self…
no ur and idiot, an ignorant one at that. u can't cook a meal every now and then? u better be making enough money for ur family to live comfortably so ur gal can stay home and do "her duties." ugh.
…did u just say blackberry??
I agree with you 100%
I am really sorry, if you ever marry such a woman like all you and children will end up eating take from all resturant.
I seriously do agree ANY WOMAN WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK BETTER NOT COME TO MY FACE AND SAY IT. No offense to my fellow women i do not mean to be harsh but you should be able to perform in your duties in the house not just in bed. ooooopppppssssss HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
LMBO Sasha mehn i love you're replies!!
girl, go somewhere with that nonsense. lol. i am well aware that i need to have a good meal prepared for my family, but if i get off work late with my heels in one hand and a box of pizza in the other hand, don't blame me. blame it on ppl like u who think that the woman is the only one who has any business in the kitchen. if my man can't handle things on the homefront when i'm unable to do so, and that includes the cooking, then he better enjoy those pizza and chinese take out days cuz my ass aint cooking if i'm too tired. point blank.
I kinda agree with all of the few responses i've read and the article. I understand if a woman is working a lot of hours and the hubby comes home first, I don't see anything wrong with him helping out and cooking a meal or two here and there.
Then again, when i was young and still in the house, my mom sometimes worked a lot of hours and my dad is horrible at cooking. So what she did was she planned ahead of time. She cooked mega meals on the weekends and we had variety of things to eat during the week.
I still think a woman should know how to cook and it should be mainly her responsibility. I actually know a wonderful married couple who have been married for over 35 yrs and the husband LOVES to cook. Does this make him less of a man? no. In fact, his wife cooks with him. They do the cooking together. If he's not around, the wife still cooks. I do think it is a bit ridiculous for a woman to get married without any cooking skills or for one to think that cooking should only be the responsibility of one spouse be it male or female.
Rebuttal written: http://www.jaguda.com/2009/10/28/im-your-partner-…
that rebuttal is stupid… woman are asking for too much…
The rebuttal is not stupid, women are not asking too much and if all else fails, go back to the village and marry that woman who will be attending to you hand and foot. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with anything the rebuttal said and if you would only read it with an open mind as I (as a woman) did with this one, then you would be able to accept the points that she is making. Yes, the culture we grew up with is the one where the woman is always doing all the household chores but it is a different world now where the woman works just as much as the man and there is nothing wrong with her husband helping her with stuff. I have a father who can cook better than most women and he doesn't hesitate to do so. It is this same man that told me that i should never settle for the kind of man who will be waiting for me to wait on him hand and foot becasue such a man is just lazy! But of course, there will be people who will disagree with me and again like i said, if it vexes you, go village and get wife, at least for a while, she will be willing to wait on you hand and foot!
well said. and if all else fails in the village…u can always get yourself a white girl. they can be easily intimidated, especially by an ignorant african man. lol. j/k. i love u white girls!
I think "Woman is to cooking as Man is to fixing car". That being said my mum knows more about fixing cars than most men I know and my Dad is a better cook than most women I know.
I have to agree with you there bros… more so cos my Dad is your Dad, and your Mom is my Mom…lol.
Ok, I beg to disagree a little. I am a man and I love to cook. Infact my stew has a special taste to it that I particularly like and my wife happens to like it too. Nevertheless, cooking still isn't my everyday duty but it is not limited to when she's sick, etc too. It is constrained to when I am in the mood for it, as a treat, want of a different taste, just to help the wife out, got home first and many other similar life activities….
In ages past (like grandfather/great grandfather period), men worked and women did the home stuff.
These days, men carry a significant portion of the home support a.k.a. CASH. Hence, there's no reason to feel less than a man if you help out in the kitchen from time to time…
PREACH!
Women = Kitchen??? Naah…not exactly.
Women,mainly, need to be able to take care of the house and kids – cos a man would do a horrible job at these.
So the fact that Teacher is saying that women shld "cook" can be right if he mentioned and incorporated other responsibilities of both the man and the woman in his article.
But I'm not going to order any take-out, ever.
If my wife doesnt cook (not everytime but most of the time, and if she is well and not ill) for me and my beautiful kids then I'm afraid we might have to call the relationship quits. Similarly, if I stop helping out with tasks like changing the bulbs, fixing new furnitures, changing the oil, installing her hair drier, taking out the trash etc…then by all means she should divorce my ass and take the kids along even.
That said, my fried plantains and eggs are the bomb, and she loves it when I make it so I make it occasionally – then we'll hit the bed. Y'all know how it goes… (thats abt the only meal I know how to throw-down good!!
).
Abeg, make una take am easy oh!!! All this lashing out – ko gbadun!!!
Yeye man! you want your wife to divorce and take the kids with her too,you cant get away from your responsibilities so mildly my friend. You better learn how to do those things properly cos your wife aint going nowhere!
bill kenedi,
i need a real ashawo oooooo..contact me on chucksmalta@yahoo.com…………..good service good pay.
WHAT THE FUCK ?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?
IM SOO OFFENDED RIGHT NOW THAT I'M SPEECHLESS. WOW.
IF YOU BELIEVE THIS, THEN YOUR NOT A REAL MAN AT ALL!
LMFAO. u must have known this was gonna get u a couple of angry comments. lol. as a naija girl born and raised in america, i still know that i have to do my part and a relationship/marriage and keep my boo and/or kids fed, but don't get it mistaken, i refuse to do that AND clean, care for the kids, do the laundry, and such and such if i also have to work to provide for the family financially. unless my husband is the sole breadwinner in the relationship, u better believe he will help with everything else if he is not trying to cook.
u said it yourself: "I think for a marriage to last there has to be compromises, there are thing a man must do in his house Hold because we do not have maids in America, BUT COOKING IS NOT ONE OF THEM."
well, fine. there are plenty of other things that need to be done in the house that men can choose from as i said b4: clean, get the kids ready for school and make sure their hw is done, clean some clothes, walk the damn dog…the options are endless.
and yes, my mommy did work and do damn there everything else in the house and come see how tired and worn out she is at the end of the day…we can learn from others mistakes, and i'm learning from hers.
dang, i wrote alot…lol.
i totally disagree with you,wats the meanin of dat crap?does it mean that u enter the kitchen only on special occassion, when u get married,two becomes one and that includes everything,which mean helping eachother out,u are such a lazy man!
IM 17 AND I DONT KNO MUCH ABT D MARRIAGE SCENE OR RELATIONSHIPS, BUT MOST OF MY GENERATION BOTH MALE AND FEMALE ARE DEFINITELY NOT AS UPTIGHT ABT WHO COOKS AND WHO DOESNT. AS FAR AS MOST OF US ARE CONCERNED ITS A MAN AND WOMAN THING, ALL HANDS ON DECK! WE R DEFINITELY NOT AS UPTIGHT AS U GUYS.(NO OFFENCE TO ANY ONE)
I'm a Yoruba woman married to an Indian and I can tell you right now it's not easy, but you know what, we both work at least 40 hour weeks, I'm a lawyer, he's a doctor, we have two children, and we don't have these problems . . . you wanna know why?
1.) We set schedules, if I'm working one night, he makes dinner and I wash the dishes with the kids, and the next night, I cook, he washes dishes with the kids.
2.) There's no argument over submission or dominance in my home. My man is a man, he doesn't need to argue with anyone over that fact, he will get on his knees with the kids to play and run around, and when I get annoyed with him he says sorry but at the end of the day, he knows who he is, and I know who I am, we don't need to rehash that over and over.
3.) We compromise. The very essence of compromising is in the fact that everyone has to let go of something for the greater good. My husband works in the Trauma division and sometimes they page him to come in to work at the most inconvenient times but we make do. I'm a lawyer and sometimes I get so caught up in a case, I can't do much of anything else, and those are the times he picks up my end of the deal so our home can run smoothly.
4.) If you're interested in making your home work, it will happen, love will make it happen.
To the writer of this silly article…sorry you hear!
See how the readers don yab you finish for this nonsense write up. what were you thinking sef???
were you kidding me bro? come on now! what planet are you from. If you marry a good woman, she knows her role but that doesnt mean you let her labor till death cos she is a woman! If you love, no one would tell you to go help her out and if cooking is one way to do it, then you do it. My husband makes some serious fried eggs and i always let him do that. He helps me out with practically everything in the house and I still respect and submit to that NAIJA KING. LOve is sharing so when you see your loved one suffering, you help out and not sit there talking about no, I am wearing the pants. what arrant nonsense is that one? abegi!!!
We both work hard and long hours at times and have two very young kids to take care so guess what dude??? we share all the responsibilities gladly and i am still very able to cook most of the days or he does and we order out on some other days when we cant make it….thats how the marriage can survive.
You berra change that attitude before marriage unless…all the best
I'm out yo'all
Nawao!
hahahahaah @ your post…..ultimately, you'll end up with a woman who will be your slave or prisoner, there to serve and meet you at the point of your need
A strong minded woman, will not settle for you a$$
so go back home (if you ain't there already) and marry yourself or submissive, dormant prisoner (hopefully, her eye no go open/shine, if not, the game will turn against you
Your writing style and lack of attention to detail shows that you are out of touch. (or bitter!)
My principle is that my gal/wife's cooking should taste better than mine. Everything else is half/half.
… For this very reason, Mama taught me (a guy) how to cook well… Times have changed bro, wake up and smell the coffee.
I can't believe I wasted my time reading this rubbish article. This writer is an epitome of ignorance and narrow mindedness. I don't know why Jaguda let him post this rubbish on their site. Nonsense! Like everyone else has said…you need to go back to the village and pick a personal cook as a wife, cos it aint happening in this part of the world. Hell I dont even see it happening in civilized parts of Nigeria. You must NOT know how to cook, or must have a kitchen phobia to have singled cooking out of all the home chores for your unfortunate wife. You sound so retarded and dumb. I grew up in Nigeria and my mother did not cook all the time. My father cooked too! yes HE DID! Its unfortunate that you come from a family where mothers/wives slave….well I don't! And your wife might not too. So I would advice you to check with your wife on that before you bring her into your crazy believes. Even your fellow guys are wondering what is wrong with you. Marriage does not mean slavery my friend. Check your dictionary again.
Don't get me wrong..I would love to cook for my husband unless he has the same stank attitude like yours! I will cook for the most part, but he MUST cook when Im too tired or away from the house…he doesn't have to wait for me to be sick and almost dying before he cooks…(hiss). So please go and check ur principles cos they suck right about now. Goodluck with finding a wife slave!
THis article is pathetic. Typical chauvinistic pig trying to coerce women into gender roles that they don't want. That whole tactic of scaring women into thinking that no one will want them if we don't do what you want is bullshit…Maybe no one will want you b/c u are such a sexist ass.
LMAOOOOO, O boy, u wan kill me with laughter. I agree with u 90%. Everyone should know how to cook no matter what. At least be able to cook to save ur life. Men should at least be able to cook for their wives. Make the sacrife if ur wive's work is demanding. But to leave all the cooking to men without due course is pure rubbish.