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iToast… My Successful Toasting Ways

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So I’ve read the article on Broad Spectrum Toasting and I thought it was downright hilarious. It got me thinking of my most successful one time toasting methods, and I decided that I’d write the best and most successful ways to toast a babe, in my opinion. Keep in mind that for guys, 50% successful rate is considered pretty high as most of us guys have been rejected since we could talk to a babe. With time I started learning the more successful tactics, and knowing which style to use with what babes as not every babe is the same. So here goes:

1.Forming: This is probably the most successful of all my methods. When I say form, I’m not saying form all the time o.. I just mean form sometimes when it’s needed. When is it needed? Ok.. let’s take this example. You know u’re looking on point at some party, bbq, wedding or social gathering, and there is this fine babe that every guy in this world has been approaching since the event started. I mean the babe don tire for guys, but you want to approach too, but if you do then u’re going to get an F immediately cos u’ll fall into one of the many, so what do you? Go hangout with her friends in close proximity to her (hopefully u know one of them). It’s better if you go with another guy friend so u don’t look weird. Gist with everyone at the table(or vicinity) but barely speak to her. As in just be flirting with the babes to a point where most of the babes at the table wont mind giving you their number, but the babe you’re actually interested in? fashi her side… Besides being cordial, and maybe answering a direct question or two, ignore her. I don’t know what it is, but most fine babes don’t like being ignored. Plus that makes you look like u’re not like every other guy that has been approaching her with “Baby, what’s you name? what’s your sign?” (who started that rubbish line anyways), and you don’t look desperate. Towards the end of the night you can casually approach her without too much aggression and without really putting in the effort, or you can wait till a couple of days later if you know you’re likely to see her again. By this time, the babes have definitely discussed how “cool and down to earth” you were, and so when you finally “run into her” you’ve already had a chance to showcase your personality, and you have a greater chance on snatching her up. All this is assuming you actually have a good personality. I don’t know about everyone else but this works for me about 60% of the time which is pretty high on the guy toasting scale. Toasting success rate: 60%

2.Pose with your fine friend/cousin: I’m not sure how to explain this but a fine babe will always make even the most wor wor guy look a lot better. In my experience, a babe will pay attention to you more if you are with a fine babe. So for me, if I’m going to a party, wedding, banquet or somewhere that will have some toastees, I try to go with one of my finer female friends or cousins. I’m talking, the finest of all of them. The one that will draw attention to herself and indirectly draw some attention to you too. The babe will give u small levels…like “omo see that babe wey this guy dey pull ooo”… no one has to know that she’s your cousin or anything like that until they ask. Of course you make sure babes wey full ground see you with the babe, and you can even go extra by making sure you get your friend drinks and take care of her very well. If na party, you can even dance with the babe sef, and all together have fun. Eventually you can approach the babe you like calmly, and if she’s interested she’ll probably ask, “what about your gf?”… then you can laugh and just say, “oh no that’s my cousin… we came together”Th cos “blah blah blah.” Some babes wont send, and wont ask, but if she saw you then she probably has thought about it but decided not to ask. This method works for me about 40% of the time. The fall out is you risk being considered a woman wrapper, or sometimes your friend is just not fine enough to make anyone think twice, so you’re left being another regular ass dude. Toasting success rate: 45%

3.Effizy: Now most babes might deny this, but girls like effizy. Not arrogant effizy, but low key, big boys move effizy… this can work if you actually have the levels to pull the effizy. Anything from organizing VIP in the club, to knowing the club owner and he sends bottles your way, or even something like seeing the babes outside of a club and telling the bouncer to let “those babes in” without paying. Of course the babe and her 6 friends will be pretty delighted that this guy they don’t even know just let them in. “He must know someone in the club”… “maybe he’s the owner…or promoter”… you’ve sha done small effizy. Sometimes you can just casually send a bottle to their table just cos. Effizy is a pretty wide range of stuff… the way you enter a place, or the car you’re driving, or the big boy gestures you’re doing… all of it is effizy and babes like it. The down side is that some babes actually find all that effizy annoying and more than likely the babes you’ll attract will be babes that are attracted to you because of what you have or seem to have and not based on your actual person. Not all, but a good number. It is what it is. Toasting success rate: 50% (depends on the type of babe you’re trying to attract sha)

4.Don’t speak much: I know this one works pretty well cos my brother uses it to the full extent allowed by law….lol. While I’m out being my typical lively self, by brother is just grabbing attention from babes because he’s just quiet. In most instance, don’t speak until spoken to… barely say much… if they are arguing or having some debate where your opinion is wanted, just make a few statements that make sense and continue forming quiet boy. It can get to a point where you might almost be considered rude sef, but hey… na so you be. You’ll grab the attention of most babes in the room cos you’re on the mysterious side. This works well for the most part. The down side is that you risk being too quiet that you’ll just go unnoticed, and if you’re not a fine boy, no one will even send you message sef. You’ll just be there doing quiet boy for nothing…lol. Lucky enough my brother na fine boy so it works for him. Toasting success rate: 50%

5.Just enter the babe: Now this is one of those hit and miss moves. You’re at an event or a gathering and you see a babe you like, and you just go for it. You get extra liver that day and you don’t send anybody message. You’re just entering the babe full force. She go gree or she no go gree… wetin concern you?…lol. This has worked for a lot of people I know, so it has to be pretty effective. Maybe it’s the fact that the guy is bold or aggressive that makes the babe like it. Some babes like that alpha male, aggressive type guy and so it will work out for you. The down side is that a good number of babes don’t like that extra aggressive move, and you might risk looking desperate or maybe being one of those “Why is he not getting the point?” type of guys…lol. Plus you might end up getting the number but it wont lead anywhere… let’s not even forget the risk of getting fake number sef. Babes will do anything to get rid of a guy that is not getting the point. Toasting success rate: 30%

6.Let’s be friends: I don’t know if I can consider this one time toasting per say, cos it’s a gradual, over the course of time, type of move. You’re the babe’s friend, and you guys have been cool since 19**, and always talk every now and then, you’ve had gfs, and she’s had bfs, but you guys have been attracted to each other for a min. You guys end up being single at some point and you’re doing the friend friend thing, and inch closer and closer until eventually you enter the babe’s heart to a point where she starts “considering” you as a potential… you’ll hear the typical “I feel like he understand me very well”, “We know each other like the back of my hand” and of course the comfort level is already there so it looks to everyone that this is a match made in heaven if it works out. Risk? Once you enter the friend zone it’s pretty hard to come out. Once the babe labels you as “brother,” “bestie,” or even worse “bff” then there’s very little hope for you. Let’s not even think of when she starts hooking you up with her best friends. That means, she can’t even see you as a fine boy sef… you’re just her friend. “I can’t even imagine being with him… it’ll be weird.” Toh… that mean say nothing for you and you’ll have to endure countless tales of all her guys for the rest of your life…lol. Toasting success rate: 40%

For now that’s all I have as my successful toasting tactics and the potential pitfalls. Once again this was partly inspired by “broad toasting spectrum”, and so I decided to think of all my toasting methods that have worked in the past. Most of them here are one time toasting moves.


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Software Engineer, Web Developer, Promoter, Blogger, and pretty much a jack of all trades and master of 2. Writes a variety of topics, ranging from Social Issues in Nigeria, to Relationships, and even Random Rantings (both serious and humorous)... follow me on twitter

Comments

Comments
  • Kelzy January 22, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    Guys and your games. I think most respectable women will respond to genuine sincerity. This list was funny, but I'm laughing at you not with you because it's so crazy that you guys like to deploy tactics and tricks to attract women. I guess the ladies do it as well, so we are all crazy.

    End of the day, if a girl is not attracted to you nothing will work and if she is everything will work. Please be mindful that a woman has probably spotted you way before you spotted her and she is just waiting to see how you will approach. Sometimes she may be on the fence about where she wants contact between the two of you to go, so that's when your approach is important and in that case… sincerity will get you way further than all this shakara…

    • licious January 25, 2010 at 6:54 pm

      Lies…. ANY MAN can get ANY WOMAN IF he says the right things… this is a proven fact…and take a joke ya!…

  • licious January 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    hahahahah!! I DON DIE!!! is that so?…Interesting!

  • Young Mula January 22, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    I am learning so few things here, the most common method i use is "Just enter the babe", as a matter of fact, it only worked once. Its success rate is very low, i mean low may be 10%. The "Lets be friend" is the one i hate, i am in some friend zone that i am trying not to be. I don't even want to be friend at all or want anything. I just want to be out and gone. My newest method is requires patience, if a girl smiles at me, then i consider that a good sign then i use my comedy moves, as in funny guy. But anyways sha… i gbadun this blog..

  • babygial January 22, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    I tink the quiet guy coupled with some effizy will be most effective. U know dat guy wey no talk too much,just chilling, getn his drink on, pretty much sitting majority of the time in the lounge area( GUYS , STAY AWAY FROM THE BAR, IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DRUNK CREEP WAITING FOR OTHER DRUNK FEMALES)but na so e just go dey pop bottles here and there. Dat will definitely get my attention and this is coming from a very BURRIFUL GIRL!

    • Eyan Nla January 26, 2010 at 12:11 pm

      BURRIFUL GIRL!?! by whose standards? lol. Put up a picture and lets decide ya fate…lol

  • Me jo,ah. January 23, 2010 at 8:14 am

    1.forming-i do it small,not2attract d girl but just2give her time2size me up.plus many guys hav already bin puttin thier bids in so she's usu tired of that. 2.posin wit friend-only at parties where she see's u know all d fine girls dere nd ur rockin nd teasin them…that'll catch her eye.but if i come wit sum1@weddins et al.my undivided attention goes to them.mostly.3.effizy-i dnt hav any,nd i dnt fake any…lol.4.quiet boy-nope,i'm a talkative nd not fine enuff4dat.it's 4d extremely fine.i go roast there. 6.friends-nope,unless u tell me u don't want nd i enjoy ur company then we're friends wit no potential4d future. 5.just enter-en hen…now ur talkin.it's all abt d 1st few words u utter4rm ur tiny mouth.even if 1million guys hav tried a sweet mouth can pull u thru.dat's why they talk abt pick up lines……but dnt cram any,freestyle nd go wit d flow.

  • Me jo,ah. January 23, 2010 at 8:21 am

    BUT the most effective i know is to tell her friend(girl of course)."i like that ur friend oh……how far?" this especially works if u know her friend.but occasionally if u dnt know her friend u can still meander around nd find sum1 close to put a word in…success rate:75%. In all d methods sha timing is key……

  • Ms. Ola Blessed January 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    LMBO I haven't finished reading the entire article, but the ones i did read have been effectively used on me!!! lmbo this is soo hiliarious cuz these toasting techniques are actually very effective!! fellas take notes oh!!

  • Sage K January 25, 2010 at 6:31 am

    Being funny and confident will surely c u thru,whether she was initially interested or not.My experience is that most gals dont really have a choice when it comes to appearance.GOOD LUCK to u brothers !!!!

  • Muyi January 26, 2010 at 1:26 am

    Uhmm .. I av read the blog and also all the comments, its actually beautiful to have young souls roll out our minds freely as these. .. but sincerely, no guy can stick to a particular style .. most times, the tune of the event, rhythm of the 'mingles' and mostly your self confidence will dictates a lot about your choice of toasting… For me, once I spot the one I desires… right there, method to apply will surely sets in and funny enough, my instinct has never failed me.. so in a nutshell, I cant precisely stick to a pattern.. I am freestyler to the core and now I am married to a very pretty, well rounded and 'head turning' shaped babe.. Gbaoo!!!

  • sifushka January 29, 2010 at 1:28 am

    Very good, my guy, very good. I am really impressed! Couldn't have penned it better myself….now to get a print out of this and pass it around to all my female friends so they can decode your moves the next time you try!!!LOL!!!!

  • Deebs February 6, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    I def think some of these tactics can be effecttive, but I have to agree with Kelzy, tactics make the most difference when the lady is on the fence. And if you're a lost cause, these tactics will most likely just make you more of a nuisance except if you're forming quiet boy, in which case you'll just go unnoticed…

  • Nekky April 9, 2010 at 9:07 am

    LOL..this is funny…but actually that quiet boy one will def work for me…too loud=too annoying!. Forming is a no no! I catch that one easily. But it all depends on the approach sha. If you good like that and you got it like that then we can be "friends". I enjoyed this post!

    • Meca April 29, 2010 at 11:39 am

      where you dey, me go like toast na

  • Recently Dumped April 19, 2010 at 6:13 am

    Nice one,everybody…

    Am quite impressed with what am seeing here..

    Guess everyone can always speak for themselves,when it comes to Throwing scoopes..

    Well before i leave,i wont mind having some cute lil single call me up on my mobile numbers sometime..

    Say we go on a date,get to know eachother,see if we could get something started and probably come back to this site and paste a testimony.

    Am Jibola/25Siingle/Male/Tall/Cream and good looking.

    07063363223

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    Tnx

  • T.J May 20, 2010 at 10:47 am

    QUIET INTERESTING,FUNNY…………………ATLEAST I GAIN SOME KEYS HERE

    KUDOS TO YOU! HMM……HW MANY GAL U GET SEF??SEE………………………E NO EASY!!

  • Shugaken June 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Am so lovin dis & wldnt mind doin dis tips….

    Holla @ ur boy on 08036157345

  • Shugaken June 19, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Yess baws……nyc tips & i wldnt mynd any cute damsel in kd…

    Holla me @ 08026355665

  • jb luv July 23, 2014 at 4:30 am

    Lol,can’t stop laughing… Learnt a lot 4rm dis.let’s get started. Hoops if u are interested

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