That’s a line from a song that keeps replaying in my head everyday.It is also a line that should follow a lot of the female folks especially the younger ones. Everyday I see them with different overly bright clothes and expensive bags and phones.
When I pass by I hear them say, “He is so rich. He takes me to exotic places everytime“. I shake my head and continue to walk on.
When will we ever learn? I can pen down a list of my friends that are married because of the money or because of the title or influence behind the name.
What happened to love?
I hear it is over rated and non existent in our dictionaries now. What is so over rated about it? Love is not the fairy tale story or a mirror mirror story where the prince had to be released from the charm by a kiss. It is a bundle of complication if you ask me. It isn’t simple.
Recently I asked my friend that I don’t see a lot of couples in love anymore, I see contracts signed and on the cover is marriage. We argued for a while and reached the conclusion about how it reflects in our relationships and marriages. I asked a married friend why these days marriages aren’t based on love, his answer was to ask our parents. Funny right, because I never looked at it from that angle. His reason for marrying his wife was because she was the only person he could trust at that time, he had been in love and the latter had perfered the material things of life. He didn’t marry for love but six years down the line, I ask once again, what is love? His answer was “it’s what I have with my wife, I grew to love her, she is my best friend but that doesn’t mean each person doesn’t have their shortcomings. We do but it must be settled before we sleep“. Before I could ask another question his wife calls him and they start arguing about football, I see Arsenal and Manchester United clash ahead and the premier league is back, I leave the couple to continue bickering about RVP. I move on.
The material things of the world has taken over the word love and it has become our undies, I am a victim as well. It is a heart desire of almost every female to be married to a HTR man (handsome, tall , rich) so what happens to the men that do not belong to these categories? Are they less human or not man enough?
I remember those times as a lady you get excited that you just met a guy and while you tell your friends about this dude; the first question is “is he rich, what kind of car does he drive?“ Ladies we have all been victims of these and probably lost a good guy in the process.
You want a dude already made? It’s not a one side thing. Have you asked how he made those riches? He might spoil you before marriage and you think that’s how your marriage will go on to be. No. Its not a bed of roses. Ask those ladies that run back every weekend to their parents homes, they didn’t expect to have their husbands silence them with money….”baby, how was your day?“ The answer they receive …”check the top drawer collect hundred thousand and allow me to sleep“. And all she wanted to really find out was how his day really went. To have that communication and understanding in their lives. But most times that is forgotten in the relationship before the courtship.
It goes for the men as well, you go for the girls that are educated, beautiful or that cook very well, and that know how to wiggle their hips in bed. She might have all these and yet she is still ill mannered. What about the men that want to marry only nurses or lawyers, what happened to the theater artists or social works graduates? Are they not good enough?
A friend once told me he needed a wife and I should introduce one of my friends, he explained that his mother has three bachelors degrees, two masters and a PhD; therefore he needed someone at least presentable. I understood that but I also argued whether his mother will live with him and what her degrees will bring to her marriage. What understanding, care, respect, hardwork, and communication wouldn’t do. Don’t get me wrong, education is a huge plus but let’s not get a lot twisted it’s not the and all be all.
If am permitted to use this illustration as an example, recently Ebuka Obi Uchendu recently wrote on his twitter page “pizza and hot pineapple juice ” and someone replied “dude you should be having nsala soup & semo. Go and marry Jo!“. I have never been so impressed or laughed so loudly the way I did that day because Ebuka replied “I would marry a wife and not a cook“. That statement covers a lot of things, a wife – cook, lover, best friend, a backbone, mother of everyone among others. Funny because some men get married because she cooks well and is good in bed and she is a keeper. Whatever happened to dreaming along with you or supporting your dream. Oh well.
The whole idea is that love grows.
Love is patient
Love is faith
Love is hope
Love is understanding
It never doubts
It comes along with its ups and downs
It accepts you for who you are.
It is priceless!
Apply some of these words of wisdom not because I know it all or have it all, sometimes it takes one to come out and say it or even demostrate it.
This is something we see everyday, break ups in relationships, cheating partners and loveless marriages, and maybe they entered for the wrong reasons but that doesn’t mean you should. So they are stuck there, that doesn’t mean you don’t get a second chance to make it work. A chance in finding the right path of awesomeness in love and bliss.